We have no idea how you’re going to work Sweet Dee’s pregnancy into the show, but it will be fun to watch. She’s for sure going to have to cut down on her drinking (and that whole reoccurring crackhead thing). Good luck.

But yeah, congrats you two kids. We’ll get you a beer (even if you might be terrible people.)

Mr. Ancelotti, you said you’d have a beer with your rival… but only after your Chelsea squad defeats his forces from Inter Milan.

“I will beat Mourinho, and then invite him for a beer,” you stated. “It’s what happens here. He will receive a great reception at Stamford Bridge. He deserves it.” Isn’t that nice and chummy?

Football, bringing the world together… much like beer.

“My favourite food is sushi, but unlike others I can sit and eat 70 big pieces of sushi in one go,” you told the Telegraph. (We once ate 70 pieces of sushi in one go, but that’s another story.) Your husband, who weighs 150 pounds, encourages you to continue eating.

You spend $750 per week on food. Now you can spend a little bit less on beer. Congrats?

We’re not sure about the whole iPad thing — seems like more of an accessory than a necessity — but we guess people want them. And you’re selling them. Over and over again.

We want to reward success, so a beer for you. Actually, check that. You clearly have enough money. Buy us one (and throw in an iPad will you?)

It starts out slow and contained but then really picks up there right around the four-minute mark. Reminiscent of 2005s Alligator, back when you were poor and young and angry. The performance bodes well for the coming record.

You’re playing Radio City Music Hall in June. We’d strongly encourage anyone who likes music to attend. Good luck finding seats.

You contended that President Barack Obama is making the world dangerous while your former boss, President George W. Bush, “made mistakes” but had a better track record keeping the terrorists at bay. Stewart, among other things, wondered if the Right calling the lawyers who defended terrorist suspects as the “Al-Qaeda Seven” was a bit “pejorative.” It was great. And you surely need a beer afterwards.

(Here’s the interview if you’re interested. Set aside 11 minutes; it’s compelling stuff.)

Mary Josephine, you were the oldest person in the United States at 114 years, 294 days. According to your friends, you were the life of the party. “She just enjoyed life. She never thought of dying at all,” Katherine Ray said. “She was planning for her birthday party.”

Daisey checked in at 113 years, 342 days. Respectable indeed.

The honor for oldest person in the U.S. now falls to Neva Morris, of Ames, Iowa, at age 114 years, 216 days. She’s getting a beer, too.