Le Clezio, who perfectly was reading Stig Dagerman’s “Dictatorship of Sorrow” when he received the call announcing his award, will receive 10 million Swedish kronor, or about $1.4 million. He can obviously afford a beer, but he’ll probably spend it on wine or something silly like that. So the next one’s on DRAFT, monsieur.

(While we’re at it, let’s buy a beer for all the American writers who missed out yet again on winning the award. It’s been 15 years since someone from the United States took home the top prize. C’mon guys and gals, that Great American Novel isn’t going to write itself.)

City Manager Allen Dinkel donated the money to the Toys for Tots program.

“Bob,” for caring you deserve an ice cold beer. Drink it with a clear conscience.

All Damon’s hard work deserves a beer. Being from Boston, a Sam Adams seems appropriate. After all, you can take the boy out of Southie, but you can’t take Southie out of the boy.

(Jason Bourne is one thing, but for our money, though, he’s at his best in “Team America: World Police.” Enjoy the video.)

At least we still have beer. And lots of it. So pull up a stool to the bar, take out the credit card, and buy a drink for yourself and the person next to you. Sure, that may be what got us in this mess in the first place, but we all deserve a drink. Besides, if everyone follows suit, we might just simulate the economy. Hey, it’s not like anything else has worked.

The good news is that Chicago bars won’t have to worry about suspending beer sales during games when the Cubs could clinch. Actually, that’s not good news at all. That’s just insult added to injury upon injury. So a six-pack is more appropriate. But hey, you could be Mets fans.

Zohn is currently midway through dribbling a soccer ball from Boston to Washington D.C. in support of his cause. Each day, he’s going 15 more miles. We had the pleasure of meeting him yesterday when he stopped in Manhattan to play in a charity soccer game. He’s a great guy championing an even better cause and we wish him the best of luck. If you happen to be anywhere between New York and D.C., buy the man a drink. He’ll be the one with the soccer ball.

(Fun Duchamp fact: Did you know he became so obsessed with chess during the 1920s that his first wife glued the pieces to the board? They divorced four years later. He kept the chess set.)

On second thought, getting a whole beer for him seems a little over the top. He’d probably want you to drink most of it. So buy a beer for yourself and pour a little bit out for the Frenchman. In a urinal, of course.

Tickets for the shows can be purchased on the band’s Web site, but get ‘em soon as they are sure to sell out. Phish is also reportedly planning to announce more dates in 2009 in the near-ish future.

Given the group’s traditional hippie fan base a joint is perhaps the more appropriate present, but we’re happy to spring for four pints. Since Ben and Jerry’s doesn’t make beer, we’ll go with something from Magic Hat.

“We just saw a big ship,” the pirates’ spokesman, Sugule Ali, told The New York Times. “So we stopped it.” Then said pirates realized it was loaded with tanks, artillery, grenade launchers and everything short of suitcase nukes Jack Bauer spends his days chasing.

That has to be either the best luck of all time or the worst. If we were pirates — not for Halloween, like actual, Captain Jack Sparrow pirates — we would imagine a ship full of weapons would be an ideal bounty… right up until the entire free world started paying attention, decided you couldn’t have them, and that, oh while they were at it, maybe they should do something about the pirating on the high seas in general.

So, yo ho, yo ho. Drink up me ‘earties. The next round’s on us, guys.

(Finally, how great is it that the pirates have a spokesman?)

If there is a silver lining (buried deep, more than six feet under), it’s that last night marked the final game ever played in the brutality that is Shea Stadium. Having been to most of the ballparks in this great country, we can honestly say we’ve never enjoyed watching a game less than we did taking one in at the soulless Queens venue. Next year, the Amazins begin again with a new park and a new pitching staff. And hopefully locks on the windows of the broadcast booths.

So for all you Mets fans out there, enjoy one last Bud Light in an overpriced souvenir cup. It’s going to be a long off-season.